Haitian Voodoo Priest arrested by FBI for buying Trump’s hair.

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31-year Old Moses Philossaint, an important religious leader of the Louisiana Voodoo community, was arrested in possession of eight grams of what is believed to be Donald Trump’s hair

The provenance of the lock of hair is yet to be clarified, and it has been sent to an FBI lab for DNA analysis, but investigators claim they have strong evidence suggesting it’s authentic.

According to FBI spokesman Bobby Miller, the accused paid $25,000 on Craigslist for the hair, which he intended to use to create a type of magical effigy.

“He openly professed to worshippers that he intended to use magic to influence American policy and force the American president to do as he wishes. The method used may be unusual, but the intent makes it a federal crime.”

Mr. Miller insisted that the FBI doesn’t believe in magic or voodoo, but acted to condemn the accused’s criminal intent and qualm rumors before they started.

“We know these dolls are probably powerless. But there are enough rumors already about the President being controlled by the Russians, Freemasons or even Reptilians. We don’t want new ones about him being a voodoo puppet.”  THE GUARDIAN 


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